A “Pawesome” Adventure in hiking

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Hiking
. An escape from society where its only you and nature herself. The surrounding trees and open waters welcome you with open arms as you enter their domain. No one can judge you, no one can point out your flaws, no one can take away your happiness. Nature embraces you and shows you love, strength, and courage to push forward. This is a pure serenity where I love to hike the trails and find inner peace within. This is a second home for me. The sun beats down on your face, the wind kisses your cheek, and you smile. Not only are you energizing your body, but you are freeing your soul. This is a place to feel welcomed and loved by the beauty around you.

 

Today was an extraordinary day. A dayimage1 where me and my furry best friend, Kai hiked five different trails. The incline got intense, but that didn’t stop us. Nothing was going to stop us. Surrounding ourselves in the beauty of nature on this gorgeous day was beyond incredible. The trails took us to different places, where we got to explore and indulge in mother nature. Hiking has its benefits in my eyes. You get a killer workout, along with mindful relaxation. Hiking the trails always frees my soul to where I can let everything go that has been on my mind. You know that feeling when you feel the world closing in on you and everything feels like it’s going wrong? Get out on the trails and you will be able to free yourself of your mind, and just be.  You don’t even have to do intense crazy trails, just get out there! Your heartrate will be pumping, and your mind will be relaxed. If you have a special furry friend to accompany you, I suggest in doing so because they make the best hiking buddies. Make sure you have enough water supply for them because they will be burning a sweat twice as hard as you. Kai was a champ, and I only had to carry him twice. For an 8-pound dog, he doesn’t let anything limit him. He always pushes himself, and I admire that. He’s pretty damn “pawesome”.

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Feeling that release as your breath quickens, heartrate spikes, and your body tenses as you fall into sync with the trail; your mind is solace in state. That feeling of pure bliss and ecstasy as you continue your journey and nothing is going to break you. It’s an unforgettable feeling that makes you yearn for more. To be in sync with the sun, wind, earth, and water is a desirable sensation I cannot escape. This is where I can completely let go and just be one with nature. Nothing can judge you, nothing can point out your flaws, nothing can take away your happiness. It embraces you and shows you love, strength, and courage to push forward.

 

TAKE HOME MESSAGE: The weather we have been having has been too beautiful to pass up a good hike. It’s like mother nature herself is screaming GET OUTDOORS! I mean, can you blame her? Take one step outside and inhale a deep breath of today, and tell me I’m wrong. You know I’m not. Now I understand some of you may work later hours and that’s totally ok. You know why? Because even at night the weather is mild and perfect enough to take a nice walk or run. So don’t give me an excuse as to why you can’t indulge in this weather too.

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Now go on, nature is waiting for her date with you.

 

Always,

MM

 

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Can you pass the salad with a side of confidence?

 

DON’T GIVE UP! We will have those bad days where we want to give up, want to cry and eat our feelings, and wish that we would lose the weight in one week…..

If I told you losing weight was happy, fun, and easy I would be lying. Don’t get me wrong, for the most part it is it’s just the “bad days” play a role too. That’s the whole part about losing it: the good, the bad, and the ugly. It’s a struggle and a damn hard race to finish, but it makes us stronger in the end. We will have those bad days where we want to give up, want to cry and eat our feelings, and wish that we would lose the weight in one week. DON’T GIVE UP! That’s where the black abyss wants to take hold of your inner light and rid you of your confidence. When it wins, it will drag you down for days if not weeks.
large  One of the hardest things is to Believe. To believe that YOU are capable of overcoming the obstacles thrown in your path and have victory over them. Being able to succeed and have results to show seems impossible anymore. With the negative spaces around you how the hell are you able to “win that damn race”?! The abyss starts to slowly creep in, stalking you as it gets ready to sink its teeth into your self-esteem. It likes to fill your mind with lies, deceit, embarrassment, and false pretenses that you eventually believe. Your too fat to overcome this. You already blew it today, just give up. One more bite won’t hurt. You’ll start tomorrow. These little lies get planted into your mind and eventually form a belief system that it’s actually true.

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BITCH WAKE UP! Because it’s not! Smack that black abyss across the head and tell it to shove it! Today is YOUR DAY my friend, and we’re gonna kick ass into overcoming self-consciousness and molding it into self-confidence.

 

Remember, you’re gonna be one fabulous bitch, so grab your confidence gear and let’s do this!

 

Always my loves

♥MM

 

 

Attention: YOUR BODY NEEDS YOU

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Time and time again we revisit the same old excuses that unravel their poison upon our sanity. Daily, we are faced with iconic images of what is considered “Beautiful”. Yeah, those stick figurines that have no chest, no curves, nonexistent waists, and need their clothing pinned two times around to freakin fit the manican, sets some damn good examples for the population.

It makes my blood boil when I see young children look in the mirror and have that “Beautiful” image drilled in their minds. NO ONE is perfect and NO ONE has a perfect body even though it may seem that way. Everyone has a unique and beautiful body that they were created with. NEWS FLASH, everyone has flaws! Everyone has distinctive personal traits about themselves that no one can replace nor take away. YOU have to realize that only YOU can see the true beauty within yourself. There is a difference. A difference between being beautiful, and being beautiful according to society. BREAK OUT OF THOSE CHAINS that society has hypnotized your innocence with. Society loves nothing more than to deceive and strip you of your originality. They will always try to make you see something false because they ultimately are out for themselves. They want to succeed with poisoning your thoughts about your image. Not all societal norms have this approach, but at the end of the day, most do. There’s a difference. A difference between being healthy and “cheating” healthy. Believe me, I’ve tried the “cheats”. That shit don’t stick! I’m serious, it’s easy to take the short cuts, but in the end, regrets seem to always follow. #Thestruggleisreal.

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Time and time again I find myself looking back in the mirror crying, yelling, and critiquing my body. I just want to “cheat” again and take the short cuts. I stop myself and look back and tell myself there is another way. “The road less traveled”. Sound familiar. Ultimately, we ourselves are our biggest critique, and we can only CHANGE our mindset. Your family, friends, and loved ones can root for you to that finish line and motivate you along this journey, but at the end of the day only YOU can push yourself to the fullest. I find this happening a lot to me. I get super pumped with all the positive feedback, and then crash and burn during the process. I will reach that mountain peak and raise my fists in victory at what I accomplished, then come crashing down that same mountain with excuse after excuse following. Why you ask? Because I let the negative feedback of my mind take over. I let the excuses channel in and break me down. We are human, and this shit happens all the time. Don’t fret my friends, there is a key to this madness. Take each day step by step, and when the going gets tough KEEP GOING! It’s always good to have others around you motivate your journey, but make sure you are motivated within your soul to continue that journey. Take note of your progress, your positivity, and your happiness. This will not happen overnight, and I myself HATE slow progress, but slow and steady wins that race. That old tale sure has a kick.

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Now, go on and look in that mirror and face your fears. You are beautiful. You are unique. You are each designed individually with none alike. Don’t EVER let someone take that Beauty from you. Beautify your soul and show the world how much you are going to kick ass!

 

Always my loves,

♥MM

 

I’ll Start “Tomorrow”.

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I’ll start tomorrow. If I had a dollar for every time I said that, I’d be one rich bitch, ya feel me. Tomorrow never comes, she takes a permanent vacation far away from me. Even if I try to phone her, she says “Tomorrow” will come. Welcome to the excuse express train that I’ve been hanging tight to for a while now.

 

I always sike myself out with buying new exercise stuff :

new gym wear

new gym shoes

new yoga mat

new water bottle

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Then I go to the gym like once, and call it quits. I end up wearing these “gym clothes” everywhere BUT the gym and makeup the alternate reality that I “will go“. This is when I hear the Excuse train blow her damn whistle.

 

Then the patterns sit back in and I continue to feel:

Bloated

Overweight

Sluggish 

Anxious

Fatigued 

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It’s a never ending roller coaster with me or yo yo dieting. I buy all the healthy veggies and fruits and food in between and get super pumped to “Pump up the jam” with my new routine, and then BOOM “Tomorrow” starts to appear back in the picture grinning at me as she smirks and holds ice cream, Mac n cheese, PIZZA, and Coke. Stupid bitch knows my weakness.

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If you ever felt it still feel like this, you are NOT ALONE! That’s why I’m kicking these old habits to the damn curb and leaving them there FOREVER! This won’t be an easy process, if it was, I’d be the size 6 I wanted to be. It’s a long haul of a process, but if you start now and fight off “Tomorrow” you’ll be that much quicker to that finish line. Can you imagine that victory, step by step doing it the right way (because I tried all the cheats in the book that got me no where) will have that much more of an impact on your life moving forward.

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What are some of the hardships you struggle with when it comes to excuses?

 

Always my loves,

 

♥MM

 

 

 

 

Secrets we hide behind.

We constantly bottle up our feelings and hide behind these barriers we create voiding out anyone who dares to enter. Secrets will build over time, causing our souls to become numb to situations, creating a negative space within ourselves. Eventually, we create a fictitious alteration of our lives, when in reality it’s the complete opposite. What are you hiding?

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Behind the looking glass we lie to ourselves. We hide behind a different alternate reality that makes us feel safe. That gives us pleasure. That gives us hope. That may even at times make us unhappy. We all struggle with various circumstances that some may not fully understand. At times we lie to those we care about to avoid confrontation. We fabricate the truth, smile and mutter the words, “I’M FINE!” This is the life we live in, but you are not alone. Do not ever feel that you are alone.

The hardest part is admitting that we ourselves can only handle so much. We are only programmed to do so. Yes, I am talking to you, you over achievers! Some things we just can’t change. Shit happens. Some shit that happens is so horrible that we can barely breathe with each new day that passes. You WILL get through it, it takes time. Do NOT blame yourself. I learned that the hard way. Instead of beating yourself up over why things happen, embrace them and see what you can learn from them.

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Secrets. We all got those. Secrets that we hide behind. Secrets that we lie to ourselves with. Secrets that make us feel better. We all hide things that we hold close within our souls so that no one can take hold of. Sometimes these secrets make us feel better about our existence. Sometimes they don’t. This is what I would call a contagion. A vast darkness that likes to feed on your soul creating lies, secrets, and devastation to your life. This contagion likes to stay, so it will feed off your vulnerability, weakness, and happiness to name a few. What a bitch. It knows how you work, and it will work against you. You have a choice, to either stand up, or fall down. I leave this decision up to you. You can break that change, break that habit and make a difference in your life. Come out on top and stronger than before. Why be held down, when you can stand up. STAND UP! Reach above the darkness and into the light. There is no need for you to hide behind these secrets any longer. You are not alone.

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My Piscean soul tends to dwell on the past, and things I cannot control. Go figure right. I still am in the process of letting go of negativity that I am holding onto in my life. It’s a process, but it’s a start. One of the hardest things for me is to let go. Instead of realizing I cannot change the past, or situation I tend to bottle up those feelings and hide behind them secretly. When someone would ask if I was alright, I would muster up that smile and say the magic words, “I’m Fine.” While secretly I was not, and this contagion was eating away at my soul. I needed to realize the past is the past, water under the bridge. Move on. Cleanse your soul. There is no need for negativity in your life to feed off your happiness. This took me a while to come to terms with, but during this cleansing process I have never felt better. Alive. Happy. Positive. All you have to do is start with a realization that some things cannot be changed, some things have happened that you could not stop, some things just are. Once you realize that and stop beating yourself up over what happened, you can start the process to heal and cleanse. It will not be easy, but starting is better than staying the same, and there are people out there who love and care about you who are willing to actually listen. You know I am right.

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Make that that positive change within yourself and start today. Break away from those habits holding you down, and be free. Why continue to question yourself, when you can better yourself.

What are you waiting for?

 

Always my loves,

♥MM

Breaking the Excuse routine

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That release you feel when you reach the ultimate ecstasy. Nothing can stop you. Nothing can break you. NOTHING can take this moment from you. You are Free.

I did my FIRST EVER spin class. Let me tell you something, that shit was intense. I’m an advent cyclist, but I wanted to get my spin on. It was a 45-minute class and the burn was extreme. Half way through, I could feel that intensity building up, that high. I let myself zone into the realm of the unconscious. The noise of others subsided and all went quiet. I was the only one in the room, reaching that comatose. The rush was enticing, almost hypnotic. I was in a trance on a nature trail feeling the breeze and smelling the pine. I didn’t want the feeling to end. Eventually, that high came to a cease, but I felt motivated more than ever. It’s been a few weeks since I set foot back in the gym, and this was the ultimate release I needed to persuade myself in continuing to come back.

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If I told you I was excited to go to the gym that day, it would be a lie. It took a lot for me to get off my lazy ass and out in the cold to burnt some iron. I used to be such a gym brat. Every day I would be at the gym for literally 2-3 hours non-stop. I decided, I needed to break the habits of excuses and start kicking ass. I mean I could have just stayed on the couch watching mindless hours of Netflix filling my brain with comfort and laziness, but I yearned for that change in my routine. Constantly, I find myself in a routine. A routine filled with laziness and unbeneficial decisions. My number one excuse was always, “I’ll start tomorrow.” I laugh at this because tomorrow never freaking comes! I tricked that bitch to stay far, far away from me. That’s when I realized what I was doing wasn’t healthy. My eating habits, my routines, and my well-being was being taken advantage from these horrible excuses I would constantly regurgitate. It disgusted me. I needed to Break these habits and finally be the change I wanted to be.

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When I finished that spin class, I felt so motivated. I didn’t expect myself to finish. A lot of people hopped off their bikes, said their thanks to the instructor, and peaced out. I thought about doing that too, but I stopped myself. I came this far, I needed to push the hell through and accomplish my goal, and I did. I felt so relieved to finish that class, especially after that high feeling I experienced. With each breath I took, it felt as if air was a never ending taste of heaven. It rushed through me so clean and lustrous. My legs and the rest of my body felt alive. I haven’t had this feeling in a long ass time. The only downfall was my ass hurt like a bitch! I’m not one to have a booty(yet), but those seats were made for toddlers, I swear. NOTE TO SELF, bring your own seat cover for the future. After class, I headed straight to the pool to swim a few laps for 25 minutes. In the water is where I find the most comfort. It’s home to me. My Piscean soul is instinctive to be near the liquescence of blue. The feeling of cold water encompassing my entire body was the perfect tension release and serenity I needed to finish off the night.

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The end result. Getting off my ass and going to the gym was the BEST decision I had this week. I fought through the Habit of excuses and showed those bitches who was boss. I am excited to continue this journey of Healthy Habit Training and finding the inner peace throughout the process.

 

What do you guys struggle with when it comes to motivation and excuses?

Always my loves,

MM

Through the looking glass

I wanted you to know where my past has taken me. This will be personal, but I feel that once you learn where I started, you will learn where I will go and where you can too.

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I was around the age of 16, when I realized I was “body conscious”. This basically meant that I hated how I looked and how I felt others saw me. This portrayed false images in my mind creating a fabricated paradox polluting my mind from reality. I was never truly “overweight” and I always stayed healthy by playing sports and keeping active, but my mind told me otherwise. My mind would whisper her sweet lies into my ears making me feel certain ways on how I viewed my body. My mind was the key to my unhappiness and the overall disgust with myself. I looked through the looking glass and saw a person completely opposite of who I was. I knew deep down I was beautiful, but this alternate reality made my interpretation corrupt with a contagion and it overwhelmed me. This contagion seeped into my pours and took over my wellbeing. I was no longer happy with myself unless I did something about. Unless I did not eat. Unless I made myself purge. Unless I drowned my sorrows with the latest fad diet pill. All these choices seemed succulent at the time, but little did I know how they would affect my future.

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I slowly grew out of this phase after a few years, with the realization that no matter what, these choices are going to harm my body. I finally was free. I was free of the pain and alternate reality and was able to finally live my life free of that bondage. Or so I thought. Slowly, that feeling pulled at my soul with her luscious lies and deceitful mind games. I could feel myself in slow motion start spiraling down and entering that alternate universe again. The universe that I thought I escaped. I was wrong. I was wrong more than ever. This would be the hardest battle of my life. The battle of self and the mind.

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I was 21 and I thought I knew it all. I was recently recovering from a serious personal situation which activated those thoughts again. I started to feel the need, the desire to begin again. This time, the resistance was harder than I had ever imagined. This alternate reality was feeding on my personal situation using that as bait and leverage to sucker me in. What a bitch. She walked in like she owned the place, like she owned me. I cowered in the corner as we met again. I could feel the pull within the inside of my body, like a magnetic attraction. I was screwed. The personal situation that I was going through was the perfect décor to flaunt around. Like the final stroke of the brush on Van Gogh’s The Starry Night. I was beyond screwed. I tried to fight the urge, I really did. I was just too weak and distraught with what I was going through. I was jolted back into the alternate reality quicker than I thought. This time, I was being controlled like a puppet in one of those creepy puppet theatre shows. I was having out of body experiences, watching myself be devoured by this contagion yet again. I tried to scream and shout to scare her away, but I was voiceless. I could only sit back and watch myself be destroyed. I did not eat for an entire month. Yup. All I lived off of was Vitamin Water’s XXX (Zero everything), alcohol, and numerous packs of cigarettes. Talk about one classy ass bitch. I went from 160 pounds down to 125 in about a month. My alternate reality self was praising me for the accomplishment of losing so much weight with her plastered grin across her face. The other version of me was wrapped up so tight in fetal position in her bed crying herself to sleep because the hunger pains and depression were seeping in. Did I mention the lovely bursts of outbreak acne EVERYWHERE, dark circles, depression, anxiety, bad breath, bruising, loss of hair, fatigue, and weakness just to name a few? Yup, sexy right? In my screwed up alternate reality I was the shit. I could wear any outfit and still get complimented on the “OMG, you’re so skinny!” speech. In my screwed up head I liked that attention even if my insides were screaming out in agony as my body searched helplessly for nutrients. I didn’t care. I was too wrapped up with my new relationship with this contagion once more and I didn’t want her to leave. After a few months I looked like complete shit, but my body was skinner than ever. For a 5’6 athlete build woman, being 125 was not as sexy as I thought. I mean, unless you are into the whole sunken in face, dark circles, and lanky white girl look take a number. Needless to say, I needed help and I needed it fast. In time, I did go to a psychologist who in the beginning I basically told to go F* himself. He warmed up real fast by telling me if I lost any more weight he would call a hospital and admit me personally due to malnutrition. Psych man wasn’t joking. I warmed up a little and tucked away my bitch mode and replaced it with empathy. He was just trying to help me and did not want to watch me continue down the path of others he had seen. Soon enough, after a few sessions and discussions I was on the road to recovery.

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This road to recovery was a bitch process. I relapsed a couple times and got really discouraged. This shit is not easy when you have your mind telling you to screw any form of nutrition for your body, and then have your wellbeing tell you what one crazy bitch you are for depriving that nutrition. Shit plays mind games like a freaking ping pong match. Back and forth, back and forth. I mean, it got to the point that me eating ONE grape was going to make me gain weight. ONE FREAKING GRAPE?! I continued therapy, yoga, and actual healthy eating habits and sticking to them. Slowly, I saw results. Even if I hated seeing that scale number go up (which was literally a crying match with myself), I actually felt better and liked the fact that I didn’t look like a character out of Tim Burton’s Corpse Bride anymore.

My recovery journey was a long one, and I overcame that alternate reality, but the journey doesn’t end here, even though I wish it did.

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Did you ever hear the phrase “When you don’t eat, you lose the weight, but when you start eating again you gain it back twice as hard?” Correction, try three times as hard. The struggle is real. You don’t mess with your stomach. That shit knows when to go into “starvation mode” and store for the next hibernation ahead of time. She also likes to make you crave everything on planet earth as if it is your last day of existence. She isn’t playing around. That is where I am today. I have gained more weight than I lost and I am suffering for my consequences. I guess call it Karma. This makes your body store fat even when you are not trying to eat, it just goes into that mode because of the damage done before hand. This is where I am struggling now and I have the choice to not eat, to go back down the rabbit hole and start over again because I know it’s easy, but I won’t. I am stronger than that and I don’t want to hurt myself anymore nor my loved ones, and you don’t have to either.

The reason why I shared this personal chapter in my life is to hopefully make you understand you are not alone. You are never alone and there are others who can guide you through this process. You just have to speak up, now. No one said it would be easy, but it’s a lot easier when you have support and those holding out their hands when you fall. This is a part of my Habit Training 101. To continue to eat healthier, and exercise to maintain a healthy weight the right way. Whose ready to bring on Twenty16 with a bitch ass attitude?!

Now, let’s kick this in the ass and start moving forward, are you with me?!

Always my loves,

♥MM